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The desire to suck my own father's cock was not too far fetched from my imagination. Where that sudden sick thought came from scared the fuck out of me. But truth is, I would! I would want to blow my own father, show him how good it was, a pleasure that surely mom wasn't giving him. Other than whores, I doubted wives did that. I would even go as far to admit that I would like him to fuck me, make love to me like the colonel does. I found myself erect, visualizing my dad coming into my room at night like he used to rarely do in order to kiss me goodnight. Instead, he would take off all his clothes, I would smell his manly cologne as he got into bed beside me, finally, he would have reason to pay attention to me instead of locking himself in his office all night...Claus nudged me and brought me out of my semi conscious state. The troop carrier had arrived and the boys were being herded aboard. I was happy to see the end of their nightmare leaving the Inn in a cloud of dust. The many men. That was something they didn’t speak about. Not even by accident.Once they had left, I did what I usually did when I was lost inside my head: I went hunting. But for the first time in my young life, a hunting trip didn’t solve my issues. I did become calmer as I spent some time alone in the wilderness, following the animals, but my heart was not really in it. In the end, I returned home with one buck and two rabbits, but I didn’t feel quite as calm as I usually did after some time in the forest. In the evening, when I cleaned my little house, I tried to convince myself that it wouldn’t have worked out, anyhow.There wasn’t any big festival in the village during the Winter solstice, but I had been invited to have dinner with Siv and Erika - and of course their parents. Luckily, I had expected that and I had purchased silver wristbands with some colorful stones for both girls while both families would get some nice warm gloves made from the deer skins. Nothing extravagant, but something.
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